ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
