Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
