the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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