Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
