Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
