I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
