He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Can I color on your dick again?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to make out with him forever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
