where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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