my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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