yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
