Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize