i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I'm really busy with my period
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