Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
