I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
