i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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