Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Randomize
