Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
