Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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