You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize