You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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