I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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