5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Also, beer. Big fan.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize