If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
A bitchslap is in order.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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