Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Randomize
