So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She even gives head with a lisp.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
