I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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