Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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