is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
