ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
