i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
