You really coming over, don't trick.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
