I must be too annoying 4 u.
He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
