We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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