i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I want her autograph on my taint
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
