Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
