Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
as a side note pls kill me
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
