we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
