So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
