I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
