I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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