I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Just invented taco cereal.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
