Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
