You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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