i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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