If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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