margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
