Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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