covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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