What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
