the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Randomize
