Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Your tits are I can't wait for
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
