Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
even my farts smell like vagina
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize