Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
