There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
