It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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