Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
