Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
